Blue Hippo and The Wuss

Who knew I was this shy-This damaged? I was with Mr Fed Ex tonite (actually thursday nite) and I had decided that this would be the night I need to find out if there's a chance with us-or at least kiss him! But within the first, I would say 15 minutes we were talking about something, i can't even remember and he said "That's why i don't even want a relationship right now" And I lost all my nerve! Plus I thought "Oh he must be saying that to let me know that he doesn't want to get involved" I was a little bummed but thought "Oh well we can still have a good time" And every minute got better. We have such a great chemistry. We laugh constantly. When I look at him and he looks back I feel this electricity so intense that I have to turn away. He makes me feel so shy. So scared that I am gonna say or do the wrong thing. We have 100 jokes a minute. I wish I could know if he feels something. It certainly feels like he does. He also mentioned that he thinks it takes probably about a year after a bad breakup to be ready to start a new relationship. Its been 7 months.....I don't know if he means dating too? I don't know if he wants to just screw a bunch of different girls. But here's what I do know. I'm a shy idiot. I am about 95% sure that we had one of those moments where your about to kiss. After the concert we were laughing and walking to my car and as we turn the corner we see this amazing steeple w a big clock in it and the moon was right next to it and I said "You should take a picture" he said "That's exactly what I was thinking" so he got out his camera and started to shot it. I leaned against this garage door and watched and stared up at the moon. When he was done he came over and he goes "I wonder if its a church" which was a big joke I am assuming because it couldn't be anything other than that with its two crosses and all. I laughed really hard and kinda grabbed him to like hit him jokingly and he fell towards me and we were face to face and it would have been the PERFECT time for a first kiss...and I pulled away and said "No its not a church it's a hang out for people who worship Satan" and we laughed and got in the car. Fast frwd to saying goodbye. I was sitting in my car listening to him talk and hoping I get another 1st kiss opportunity. We get out of the car and we are talking about when we have to be up the next day. I said "I don't work until 1p which I hate, but tomorrows Friday so my friend Derek will be coming to pickup a fed ex package" and he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. If I wasn't so shy and nervous and scared of rejection I should have turned to face him and see if I could get a kiss. But instead I said "Oh a hug from behind, interesting" or something that lame or even worse and I walked beside him with his arm around me. And I said I had a great time..he said "Me too maybe we can go back when she has her upright bass" And he got in his truck and rolled down the window and screamed out jokes as I walked to my front door. I wish I could rewind and kiss him by that church. The last few days we received more bad news and he seems to be barely talking to me.....I guess I am going to Texas...I will explain later.....