Too Soon

Why didn't I meet you sooner? You were there the whole time I worked at Hyatt but it took OURS for me to see you. Damn it. And I have wasted so much time with my friend "Fear of rejection" and now I am moving across the country. I have told you I will miss you, you say you'll miss me too. I have joked about you coming but we know that's ridiculous. Although I know that taste of escape thrills you. This isn't right. I've sat close to you too many times and felt my heart beating outside my chest but our lips have not touched. Our eyes have met in a not so innocent glance more than once but here we are almost ready to say goodbye. Why does life work like this? Now that it's confirmed that I am moving I feel you trying to wedge some distance between us and I hate it. It amazes me how men want to guard themselves and push things away while woman say time is running out and knock down all their walls and want to spend every last second there is left. How can I get him to want to spend some proper goodbye time with me? Is it too late for us? Has he ever felt anything or have i read this all wrong? I want him next to me, I want to feel, even if just for one night, what it's like to be with him. I want to know if he feels ANYTHING other than friendship.