One wasted year

Wow-I spent the last year falling in love. I thought he was the one. He was someone who I could feel becoming one of my best friends. Who knew that it could all end over a stupid argument. Who knew it would end with hate and with him saying "Leave me alone." He didn't care that his heartless words were stabbing pretty deep. How can u go from saying luv ya all the time to a slight falling out bc I asked him if he was seeing someone, which he never answered, to a small rebuild to where, after starting to let go and dating guys and realizing how i should be treated, he starts to annoy me and I start to think..."Were all of our conversations as one sided as this one?" He wasn't listening and he just kept talking and talking and talking...about himself. Thats all too familiar to me. No he wasn't always that way. We used to talk for hours and hours-He used to make me believe in myself-in my dreams. But that turned into him always accusing me of not working hard enough on my dreams because I watched TV sometimes and because I started dating.....which made me feel like a failure and a loser. Fuck that. I would rather be single forever than to have anyone treat me the way he did tonite-like I was meaningless to him. If he gave up on me thats his own stupid fault. Man I wish he was gay like all my friends who met him said he seemed. He isn't though. He just has high expectations. He expects to find someone like Norah Jones but guess what-I want my John Krazinski too---obviously not those two celebrities themselves but someone of that calibur. And fuck anyone who thinks that I don't deserve it. I'm not sure why it had to end like this. It seems like a lot of things are ending here in the end of 2009. And u know what, thats fine. I'm not gonna sit around and cry. If Texas has made me anything its made me stronger. What good would it do to stay in bed crying the next few days. I will put it down on paper--or computer screen, I will accept that it wasn't meant to be and I will move on-start new. So Derek if you seriously meant the things you said tonite, after all the shows I got you, all the days I pulled your pissy ass mood out of the gutter, all the laughs and jokes and jimps we shared....then FUCK YOU! I will prove to you that what you said is true, I don't need you to make my dreams come true. I can interview Dave Navarro without you as photographer...